In August I completed my second Ironman. The first time I raced that distance was in 2010. As you recall, that time Mom was unconvinced I’d finish in one piece but was relieved I had finished alive and well. She was once again worried that I had signed up to do another “Macho Man” race, but I assured her that I would be fine. The day before the race, I...

Mom doesn’t typically offer up her opinion of people, but when she does it’s often quite amusing. Recently my brother John emailed me with a random Mom gem. He said he was chatting with her on the phone when, without warning, she started to inexplicably rant about today’s youth. Apparently she was out running errands when a couple of teenage girls...

Recently I called Mom to wish her a happy new year. During our call, I brought up North Korean leader Kim Jong-il’s death to see what she thought about it. Me: “What do you think about Kim Jong-il dying?” Mom: “Good. I happy.” Me: “Yeah?” Mom: “Yeah, he terrible. Good that he’s dead.” Me: “What do you...

I called my mom over the weekend and got her voice mail, so I left a message that I wasn’t entirely convinced she would get since I seriously don’t know if she knows how to check her phone messages. On Sunday I called her again and still got no answer, so this time I hung up without leaving a message. Later that day, she called me back. Me:...

My mom never had conversations with me about puberty or dating or any of that stuff that mothers and daughters usually talk about (I guess, anyway; maybe all moms have relationships with their daughters that are as weird as mine — I can dream, can’t I?). I never talked to her about the boys I had crushes on or asked her questions about dating, how to...