Mom Weighs in on My Engagement and Ring
On October 12, my boyfriend of nine years surprised me with a pretty epic engagement while we were in New York City. It involved a pre-recorded message from an American Gladiator and it was appropriately perfect given how goofy-schmoopy (goopy? that doesn’t sound right) our relationship is. The day after Jason proposed, I called Mom to break the good news.
Mom: “High bay-beee! Whatchoo doing?”
Me: “Hi, Mom. We’re in New York City until tomorrow. I just wanted to call and tell you that we finally got engaged!”
I wasn’t sure how my mom would react to the news, but I definitely didn’t expect heavy laughter.
Mom: “It’s about ti-iiiiiiiime!!”
She actually said that in a singsong voice.
Me: “Yeah, I know, we’ve been together forever.”
Mom: “No, is okay. Is good. You two more shuh-cure now, good to wait until you ready.”
Me: “Yeah, definitely.”
Mom: “Jason good man, smart man, he take good care of you.”
Me: “Yep, that’s why we’re together. You want to talk to him?”
I handed the phone to Jason and heard a loud “Con-grat-choo-LAY-shuns!!!” through the phone. Jason laughed and had a polite conversation with the future diminutive in-law before handing the phone back over. Mom wasn’t as happy-shocked as my friends thought she would be, but I wasn’t too surprised since she has two other children who have gone through the marriage/kids milestones already; plus, Jason and I have been together long enough that an eventual engagement wasn’t too out-of-the-ordinary.
After I got back to Seattle and we got my engagement ring re-sized and the design tweaked, I sent a picture of it to my mom. I had always told Jason that I wasn’t interested in diamonds, partly because of my half-white guilt over how dangerous and exploitative the diamond trade business is, and partly because I feel it’s a waste of money to spend on an artificially inflated commodity. Jason heeded my request and bought me a simple white gold band with nine cubic zirconia embedded in it. I think it’s just as pretty as a more lavish engagement ring and nobody knows the stones are fake until I tell them.
So anyway, I sent a picture of my ring to Mom:
I accompanied the picture with the following text:
To my surprise and amusement, Mom fired back with this non-precious gem:
I showed the text to Jason and we both laughed. He said, “Your mom is so weird.” I’m inclined to agree. Who’d have thought my little Korean mom would be such a bling baller, horrified that her youngest daughter would bring shame upon the family by preferring cubic zirconia over a bonafide diamond? I also like how she warned me not to tell anyone, as if my friends and colleagues would shun me for donning an imposter on my left ring finger.
Since I wasn’t planning on getting another wedding band (my engagement ring will serve as both), I responded with this:
And then Mom replied with this complete 180:
She went from horrified and judgmental to complacent and non-plussed in the span of two text messages. I was confused but just went with it, since we’re talking about my weird mom here.
I forgot about my mom’s amusing reaction to the engagement ring until about a month later, when my brother John texted me with the following:
John: You’re mad at The Cha?”
Me: “Haha, no, did she say I am?”
John: “She told Lori. Something about your ring.”
Only my mother would take a little Korean dump all over my engagement ring (which I wasn’t even offended by, I thought it was hilarious) and then read into a completely straightforward text message with the conclusion that I was mad at her. She is an enigma. I’ll never, ever understand her.
I explained the whole ring backstory to John via text message.
John: “That’s funny. I guess that would actually bug her a little bit. I keep telling Lori to sell hers and buy some furniture or something but she refuses.”
Then he followed up with this:
John: “I guess I wasn’t supposed to ask you so never mind. So don’t mention it.”
No problem, brother, I won’t mention it to Mom…I’ll just blog about it instead.