Mom’s Inability to Send Text Messages

Jul 31

Mom’s Inability to Send Text Messages

Ever since I got the Korean food hook up from CJ, I’ve occasionally used their spicy Korean BBQ sauce to make chicken wings. Jas, like most red-blooded American men, loves chicken wings, and he’s a huge fan of using the Bibigo sauce on them despite the fact that anything remotely spicy makes him sweat buckets. Recently he had a hankering for wings so we whipped some up. Since my mom is now¬†capable of receiving picture mail, I sent her a photo of our dinner in an effort to convince her I don’t mess up everything I try to cook: She left a voicemail shortly after that, which I’ve transcribed verbatim: Mom: “Rebeccaaaaa. We have big storm. I’m sitting here, dark. A little while ago, I see your, um, chicken. Gochujang chicken? That chicken. That’s a gochujang sauce. Chicken legs. Look good. So I re-ply, but I say ‘Justin’ ‘stead of ‘Jason.’ Oh my gahhh! I guess I’m getting old. So don’t tell him that, okay? Just say ‘Jason.’ I say ‘Justin,’ you know? So don’t tell him that!” Three things: Yes my mom said “re-ply” as if it were two words (“re” and “ply”). Jason and I have been dating for nearly eight years. Before that I dated a guy named Justin. I can understand initial confusion considering the two names are similar, but really, after eight years she’s still getting them confused? Speaking of “re-ply,” what’s this response she was talking about? I never got any sort of text message reply from her. I thought she didn’t even know how to send one. I returned her call to get the story straight. Mom: “You get my message?” Me: “Yeah.” Mom: “Oh my gahhhh, I say ‘Justin,’ not ‘Jason’! Don’t tell him I say that!” Me, laughing: “I can see how you’d get confused. We’ve only been dating for eight short years.” Mom: “…I say ‘Justin.'” Me: “Yeah, you’ve mentioned that. What’s this reply you were talking about? I never got a reply.” Mom, angry: “Mia say she don’t get my re-plies either! I don’t know what the deal is! Phone or something!” Me: “I’m not so sure it’s the phone that’s the problem here…” Mom: I send re-plies...

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Mom’s Important Meeting

Jul 11

It’s been a while, but that doesn’t mean my mom is any less amusing; I’ve just been busy with starting a new job and ramping up my Ironman training. Speaking of the Ironman, since Mom insisted she was too busy with her peppers to watch me race Ironman Canada, I’ve been pondering other locations for future races. Ironman Arizona has looked like a somewhat promising option since my mom’s mother-in-law lives in Phoenix and she and my stepdad visit often–I brought up that race to her and she cautiously agreed to watch. Recently, however, my boyfriend has been pestering me about signing up for Ironman Wisconsin 2013. It’d be in September instead of November like Arizona, and the course is more appealing (rolling hills instead of numerous flat loops). I brought up Wisconsin to my mom to see how’d she react. Me: “There’s another Ironman race in Wisconsin in September. I was thinking of doing that next year. Would you be able to come out and watch?” Mom: “Wisconson? Oh yeah, Kuht and I drive. Meel-wok-eee?” Me: “No, Madison.” Mom: “How far is Madison?” I pulled up Google Maps and mapped out a driving course. Me: “Looks about seven and a half hours.” Mom: “Yeah, okay. We can drive.” Me: “So you’d want to come out and watch the race? Which one would work better for you, Arizona or Wisconsin?” Mom: “Ummm, Wisconsin. Cuz we’d have our own car. Air-eee-jone-uh we have to rent car.” Me: “Okay, cool.” Mom: “We drive out and watch…WAIT!! Not September 9th!” Me: “What?” Mom: “Race September 9th? September 9th no good!” Me: “Well…” I pulled up the Ironman Wisconsin website. This year’s race was indeed on September 9th, but next year’s date wasn’t set yet. Me: “This year the race is September 9th, yeah, but I’m talking about doing the race next year. 2013. It’d be around the first weekend of September.” Mom: “Oh, good. I head of Korean-American Uh-So-She-A-Shun. We’re having meeting at my house September 9th. Very important! I serve vegetables from my garden and bulgogi. Next year good, this year I have meeting.” I couldn’t help but laugh. My mom has become quite the important little Korean over in Michigan....

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