My cousin recently posted one of those “Repost this if you herp your derp!” messages on Facebook. You know the type — it always starts off with a schmaltzy intro and then concludes with “Post this if you love and appreciate your mailman/the troops/Count Chocula/etc.!” This particular status update went as follows:
“3yrs old: “Mommy, I Love you” @10 yrs old: “Mom whatever!”@16 yrs old:”My Mom is so annoying!”@18 yrs old: “I wanna leave this house.”@25yrs old: “Mom, you were right.” @30 yrs old: “I wanna go back to my Mom’s house.” @50 yrs old: “I don’t wanna lose my Mom.” @70 yrs old:…”I would give up EVERYTHING for my Mom to be here with me.” U ONLY HAVE 1 MOM! Post this on your wall if you Appreciate your Mom!!”
My brother Gene saw this message and posted an all-too-accurate response from my mother’s point of view:
“Uhhhhhhh, my mom was different.
3 yrs old: “Gene, stop that!”
10 yrs old: “I wanna cut open you head and see what’s wrong with you.”
16 yrs old: “You drive like retard! You gonna die!”
18 yrs old: “No make baby. I’m serious, I kick you out.”
25 yrs old: I see you on TV with Lindsey Lohan, you look so damn mean.” [My brother works in Los Angeles]
30 yrs old: “You’re too damn crazy, no one wanna marry you.”
Yes, we only have one mom, and yes, we appreciate her despite (or maybe because of) all the strange stuff she says.