Mom and I Discuss My Recent Trip to Costa Rica

Mar 22

Mom and I Discuss My Recent Trip to Costa Rica

In the weeks leading up to my trip to Costa Rica, I would remind my mom that I was traveling to Central America for a week and she would respond the exact same way each time:

Mom: “Oh my gahhhh. You be careful! My gah. You going with friends? Okay, good. You be careful. You go places with Jason–don’t go places by youself. My gah. I raise you all by myself! You my baby! I worry about you!”

Since my mom is Internet-illiterate, I wasn’t going to be able to email her that we’d arrived safely, and since I didn’t want to rack up a huge cell phone fee by calling her, I told her that I would email my siblings and have them call her to let her know I was fine. My trip was fun and the race I had flown down to do, the Rev 3 half Ironman, went really well. I ended up taking second overall female, my best ever finish in a triathlon.

When I got back home, I called my mom to let her know how my trip went. I was excited to tell her about my podium finish and was curious to hear how she’d react.

Me: “Hey Mom.”

Mom: “Hi honeyyyyy! You back?”

Me: “Yeah, I got in late last night.”

Mom, angrily: “You siblings never call me and tell me you get there safe!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I told them to let you know!”

Mom: “Nobody tell Mommy anything!”

Me: “Sorry.” I found myself apologizing for something that wasn’t remotely my fault. This tends to happen a lot when it comes to appeasing my mother.

Mom: “How was trip? Nice?”

Me: “Yeah, I had a good time.”

Mom: “You have good race?”

Me: “Yeah, I took 2nd overall female, so I was the second-fastest woman there.”

Mom: “Whaaaaa, that’s a lot. Are you that tough?!”

Me, laughing: “I guess!”

Mom: “Wowww. You are my little baby!”

Me: “Aww…”

Mom: “…you were my wimpy baby! Ha-ha.”

Me: “What?!”

Mom: “You little thing! You cried a lot!”

Me: “You always tell me I never cried when I was a baby!”

Mom: “When you baby you don’t cry. But when you little nobody could say anything to you. A little loud and you would cry. Nobody could even touch you. Oh my goodness. Second place, wow.”

Confused by the juxtaposition of being simultaneously dissed and praised by my mother, I was at a loss for words.

Me: “I–whuh–thanks.”

Mom: “How’s food there? Good?”

Me: “Eh, not really. Some of it was good but a lot of it was just okay.”

Mom: “Ohhh, really?”

Me: “I did eat a raw turtle egg when I was there.”

Mom: “Huh? Whoahhhhh. Turtle egg? Oh my gah, you change. Ugh. So you ate that?! Ha-ha-ha! Wow. Ha-ha! How they prepare?”

Me: “They put the raw egg in a little shot glass along with a spicy, Tabasco-type sauce, and then you just drink the whole thing.”

A turtle egg drink I had in Costa Rica

Mom: “How taste?”

Me: “It was pretty good. The egg was creamy and the rest was kind of spicy.”

Mom: “Wow. Expensive?”

Me: “No, it only cost a dollar. I guess in Asia there’s high demand for turtle eggs though because they think it has healing properties, so they buy them for $100 per egg on the black market.”

Mom: “Oh my gah. Asia? No wonder…it’s not Korea!!”

Me, laughing: “No, China.”

Mom, in an “I knew it” tone: “Mmm hmm. Korea, no.” And thus Mom (and Koreans everywhere) wins this week’s Asian morality battle.

One comment

  1. Trevor /

    Hi! Blah, blah, small talk… Could you do a free site audit for me?

    Ha! Kidding! I ran across your post on authority labs and couldn’t resist 🙂 Anyway, I enjoyed it so decided to stalk you around the web at this or that and here. Funny site, one of my Facebook friends is half Korean (mother), I’ll share it with her on there.

    Good luck on your runs, and enjoy those turtle eggs!

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